sometimes we all just need a little direction.
heck I know I always do
and it seems that nature is always willing to point us in the direction of its imaginative creator, its divine artist.

and sometimes I just miss it, I drive by or walk by it in so much of a rush that I forget that I was born to live, not to do whatever it is is consuming my time and stressing me out.

so before we get too lost,
lets remember the stars
lets remember the smile of a baby
or the fire in the eyes of a loved one

May we see that we are only as lost
as we are unwilling to realize that we are not our own creators
but beautifully crafted pieces of art and that the entire world points us in the one direction, into our hearts where love resides, the greatest mark of God.

a ticket for free new years guitar lessons with lex bi-weekly.

shoes from brooke

a grey hoodie

a new watch

the shoreways ep

a smaller bible

the shirt lex and robby were supposed to get me for my birthday

film(200, 100 , 800)

a tripod

final fantasy four

a cool keychain for my keys

something cool that rachel trieu can make

a mystery present from Caroline

a ticket for a few hours of thrifiting with lex and brooke.

a new bed since ali broke the last one

a bonsai tree

ill add to this later. thanks for reading this.

But honestly, whats been on my mind is that, a lady died in a car accident. She had a son, who went to school with Caroline’s 10 year old brother, and now shes dead. Shes gone and the family is without a mother to take care of her children smaller than that and the entire family.

And I dont really know what to say.
But that God tries, he cares, he loves and somehow just like the corny Disney movies, justice will be defined.

Somehow, someway, we will cross through these dark dank areas and see that the sunshine was always with us.

I mean I just cant imagine what this childs life will be like, but I know, the spark in his eyes must never go out. This tragedy cannot take away this little boys and his family’s joy and hope, for nothing else I know his mother would not want it.

And I know I am making a bold statement.

This is the magnitude of life meets the earthquake of death. But, heres the thing, that lady’s love, her kindness will never ever let go of that little boy and I hope that we will all remember that.

We can never escape from all of our demons, our fears, our antagonizers. Truly I feel we must make our peace with the world and look to the sky, towards the heavens for the response of the great artist. For this painting, this life is far from over and although a life has disappeared all is not lost.

thats whats in my head at the present moment.

so let us all right now pray for this little boy and his family. Whether or not you believe in it, please just try.

Chris Christmas Guitar 1

Originally uploaded by J.Gardner

2008′s christmas material list. a non material will be out soon entitled We are spirits in a material world.

a ticket for free new years guitar lessons with lex bi-weekly.

shoes from brooke

a grey hoodie

a new watch

the shoreways ep

a smaller bible

the shirt lex and robby were supposed to get me for my birthday

film(200, 100 , 800)

a tripod

something from Kathleens imagination

shorts from jacob

final fantasy four

a cool keychain for my keys

something cool that Rachel trieu can make

a mystery present from Caroline

a ticket for a few hours of thrifiting with lex and brooke.

a new bed since ali broke the last one

ill add to this later. thanks for reading this.

I want to end this one saying thanks to katie and most likely lizzy for the bible verse in the door handle. very sweet.

Jesus was truly revolutionary because he actually followed the word of God. Even though he was sort of cheating since he was God.

the girl in this photo gabby, if nothing else has this beautifully infectious smile, charming accent and awesome outlook on life.
Ever since Ive met her shes said that everything is beautiful, I mean she practically uses the word to describe everything, and honestly, the hope of the beauty in everything really helps right now as I try to keep my head above the water.

So friends,
everything is not lost
it is beautiful, purposeful, methodically made and most of all there for a reason beyond the typical.

If you’ve never reclined your seat and sat inside of a semi-warm car that is turned off amidst Florida’s quasi-winter weather, I certainly recommend it. So we sat and talked and held hands, and honestly sitting there it occurred to me. This is why Jesus died.

This was it. Under the stars, deep in her eyes illuminated by a streetlight, I could see a work of God, the almighty artist, the divine dad left his mark on her. His love chiseled her into existence, and now my love is admiring it.

And you are no different.

Never forget the miracle you have inside of you. You are not a letdown.

The love God used to craft us and the love he has that is deep enough to take us as we are at any moment was something I saw tonight, and Ill never be the same.

“The greatest love that anyone could ever know, overcame the cross and grave to find my soul”

Hey, Dream big.
Never forget to let your heart and mind soar, for the world is filled with colors that you can only really capture in your dreams.

God is a great artist.

For big, there is definitely the great times God has given me throughout the week to cope with all the crazy stuff that was going on and the things that were due.  This was especially true last friday at ultimate when Nick and Robby were being so hilarious I didnt even realize I was really exercising.

Another one would be getting to take my friend Kristen home today and talking to her about sensitivity and that I almost made her cry in the beginning of the year with my raillery. And with that I am beginning to learn that its time to really just be essentially me without some of bells and whistles I try to pull of and make myself look cooler.

The final miracle I want to talk about encompasses all of you guys. During this week my blog hit an all time record of 114 views in one day. I mean that is nothing short of amazing. I just want to thank God for giving me the ability to get my head out on paper and for you guys for going on along the journey with me. I mean reading some of my old blogs has definitely shown me how far I’ve come and it gives me hope for the miracles God has in store.

So besides all that, there is a miracle I have been praying about and trying to learn how to be as selfless as possible with and I just ask all of you to pray with me and for me.

Finally I leave you with this,

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

In my life, one of my greatest heroes is Jon Foreman.
The lead singer of Switchfoot.
Here is what a friend of his said about him : Jon is a man of enormous vision, talent, passion, kindness, and humility. He is a thinker, a lover, a fighter, and a phenomenal leader who has been singing about his aches and dreams and desire for change, for the last ten years.
For every second, every minute, every day of my life, that is what I’ve strived to be.

I have wanted to be the blind man in the dark with a flashlight fighting until the batteries die.

I have dreamed to use my god given talents in the best possible way.

I have wondered about where my passion lies.

I have hoped to hold the kindness and humility of Jesus.

But in the last 25 hours, I have been the complete opposite; I have been a verbal bully, a bitter soul, a luster, a confined dreamer, a quitter, and an angry car driver.

Back when I was a kid I would tell my mom that I would grow up and become a doctor and make lots of money. Or maybe be a lawyer so I could talk for a job.

Heck I wanted to be both.

Now I am fifteen years old, and when I grow up is not that far away.

But I have really been thinking what have I been striving for?

Better Grades? More Clubs? More Community Service?

But to what avail? To go to college? To attain a high paying job?

To have bombastic speech, a large house and the perfect family?

Simply, My dreams have become what’s attainable but not necessarily what im looking for.

I was my face in the morning, look in the mirror and ready myself for a day of hard work.

But where is my heart?

With all of this pressure, this work and all of this drive, I haven’t found myself in any of the work I have done. I haven’t been found. The inner workings of society haven’t satisfied me.

So now I pose the question, What is true motion? True Progression?

Love is, as far as I can tell, the most mature response to any situation – the pinnacle of what it means to be truly human. Love is a wrench in the wheels of cause and effect, of reactionary living, of casual imitation. Yes, speed and events are all around us in the information age, but motion, true motion, is rare. Love is the movement. Keep moving, amigos.- Jon Foreman

Where is my Progress?

This blog might seem useless or self explanatory.

But quite simply do what you love amigos.

Love what you love

Love who you love.

Just love.

Love is a movement, bring back this revolution.

Right now I might be down under the pavement, you might be under the pavement.

But I want to have a love that’s more than six feet deep, because honestly no matter how hard I work, how much money I make it doesn’t go with me.

This heart, this beating object that pours blood into my veins, even when it stops beating

And I am under the floor, I can take my love home with me.

In conclusion my friends, these blogs have been a car in which I drive down a road of humility and it is so awesome to have you guys as passengers.

Life is not what I thought it was 25 hours ago.

I didn’t think that loving someone was that important.

I felt like I had to work till I burned out.

I’ve been a ginger bread man who has been swallowed by life this school year.

But finally Ive been spit back out.

I’ve been one with all I’ve never believed in.

And now I want to see miracles, see the world change.

But my name is more than a name, when I die, I hope to be the second man who has friends that can call me a fighter, or a lover, a dreamer, a man of vision.

]]> http://paperrocket.wordpress.com/2008/11/10/more-than-a-name/feed/ 3 aundre http://paperrocket.wordpress.com/2008/11/08/hello/ http://paperrocket.wordpress.com/2008/11/08/hello/#comments Sat, 08 Nov 2008 06:58:15 +0000 aundre http://paperrocket.wordpress.com/2008/11/08/hello/ Continue reading →]]>

bonjour and goodbye

Originally uploaded by astrumaeroplane

its certainly been a while,
a month or so at least.

I have to say I feel like part of my world is caving in all the time and it is so tiring, I don’t even know what to feel at times. I been feeling frustrated, angry, tired, joyous, frustrated, hopeful, disappointed.

I think you get the idea.

The reason why I have this picture here is, not because i like kyra, because i don’t as she already knows but rather,
on the last day of leadership broward,
we were given the opportunity to acknowledge someone who changed our experience there. And I was sitting there trying to think of all of these people, but when it all boiled down to it, although so many of the people around me were so awesome, one person, Solomiya really changed my experience when we had our first conversation at the opening retreat.

so it started with hello,
and hasn’t ended yet.
I truly was surprised with all of creativity, kindness and interestingness that was hidden behind a face i didn’t know.

I mean how many things in life are like this?
How awesome is life? Just look at the environment leaves many of us taken aback when we take steps outside of our concrete jungles.

How often do we choose the other road, the one where I don’t say hello to solomiya, because we don’t feel comfortable.

How many times do we let our fears or a medley of all the things we think will happen hinder us?

All of these ideas that we think that we perceive are nothing more than unwarranted phobias that ruin the beauty and effect of a simple hello.

Theres a song by the rocket summer called Never knew, and to be honest it has never meant more to me before this week,

“I just ran into a few someones today,
someones that I never really knew,
I used to think that I had them all so figured out,
No, none of its true,
Cuz I never knew you,
And now the truth of it is,
I want to be like you.
So hello, good friend, I want to be next to you.”
- The Rocket Summer, Never Knew

Just Wednesday night after church, I was sitting in the car with Alessandra, listening to her tell me that I had changed her world. That in asking her to come with me to church, I changed her world drastically. But I guess I never really took her 100 percent seriously until Wednesday when she told me about her co-worker that came to church with her a few weeks ago.

So her coworker attended church with her, and at the end they went to the girls ministry at my church. While they were there, Summer told the girls to split up in groups of two and tell the other person about their Jesus story. So Ali being ali, went first and told her co-worker her story about how Jesus had affected her, how she accepted him and how radically different her life is now.
So then Ali looked at her, and said “Your turn”.

And with that the other girl burst into tears.
She said she didn’t have a Jesus story and she hasn’t had one ever and all of this stuff.

Keep in mind Ali is telling me this story while I’m in the car, so I’m looking at her and then she told me that during that time “He[God] just took over”

With her initial hello and invite to church, Ali opened up something beyond anything she could have imagined. The same goes for me, when I met Ali, I was just trying to impress Caroline.

God works in mysterious ways, dont ever forget that.
So, I dare you to say, “Hello Good Friend, I want to be next to you” and truly mean it. I dare you to throw your fears out of the door, out the window and out of sight and say hello, you might just find exactly what God has left for you.